I packed my guitar away 27 years ago - and then I turned 45. . .

The result is a full length album that expresses some of my desires, beliefs, hopes and experiences, that I launched on the 14th of November 2009 at the Assembly in Cape Town. I was not sure where this music journey would lead, I’m still not, but what I do know is that it is filled with the unexpected. The night I performed my Salpeter album songs for the first time the room filled with ‘believers and friends’ and it was simply exhilarating, but I never bargained on what I would get. In fact I expected to just get this music I had created off my chest and out of my throat . . . to just put it out there. But, there is a truly magical thing that happens when you do what you love with no expectation of the outcome. 

When I’m on stage I can’t see many faces, the stage lights make me feel as if I’m in a fish bowl. But, on the 14th of November 2009 I saw faces, shiny happy faces that reflect hopes, dreams and love. 

Why now after 27 years?

The quick answer is, why not? But if you have walked more than halfway through your life, you realise the answer is much more complicated than that. So what is the truth? My truth is realising that at the core of me is an artist and I just can’t keep the creative energy inside of me any longer.

Like so many of you I had a dream, but as life happened with increasing speed and pressure, I had less and less time for my dream. Finally my dream was reduced to a few hours a week - whenever I was lying in the bath, finally alone for a few minutes. Then I would close my eyes and remember what I yearned for. Not too long into my 'bath-dream' there would be a call from down the hall “Mama!”, or my phone would ring to remind me of an after-hours USA SKYPE conference call (to accommodate working across time-zones). Then, I would get up, dry myself off and return to my life. My dream would flow down the drain with the bath water…

The year I turned 43 I walked the El Camino pilgrimage in Spain. As any fellow pilgrims out there will know, you do not walk this journey without it changing your perspective in one way or another. While I trudged the hills of the Spanish countryside, I kept repeating over and over; “I want to create, I need to create, I have to create.” As the sun rose over the Meseta one morning I made myself a promise . . . to do a live rock show on my 45th birthday! Along came inspiration, drive, purpose and FEAR! What if I can’t do this, what if it is too late for this music dream of mine? Wracked with these insecurities, I scratched around in my belief system and measured them up to some of  life's rules.

I have always believed that life’s rules are not worth following if they do not serve a purpose, so the rule that says; “its too late to make a 360 turn in the middle of your life and follow your heart”…I broke it! 

I fulfilled the Camino promise the day I turned 45; with a live performance @ On Broadway in Cape Town with 200 friends in the room. I have subsequently spent the last two years giving voice to my creative spirit by writing, producing and recording my 1st album. In the two years between the Camino and On Broadway I also gave up a business I had helped build, cashed in on some shares and took a sabbatical. Now when I lie in my bath my dream is alive and I feel a sense of peace.

In the last two years I have discovered and have been inspired by so many people who have started a second career in their 40s. Their choice, second time around is much closer to their passion and purpose. The fact that the internet now allows people to self-publish has also made this the RIGHT TIME for me. But, despite all this new-found freedom, I am still rooted in the reality that there is no banker, investor, label or agent. It is me, a single mother, with a bond and not enough saved yet, standing at that transition of, either:
• Invest in safety,
or
• Invest it in 'living'.
Luckily, half way through life you learn to break rules with some wisdom and you realize that there is a middle way between things. I invested a lot in 'living', some say I haved risked too much. So far I funded this entire project myself. Was the risk too big? I don’t know, only your response to my story and support of my music will give me that answer. . .

. . . and who determines whether the risk was too big? What are the measures of success vs. significance? This creative process has taught me so much and I have had the most profound moments of bliss, each a jewel that I will carry with me forever. I intend to collect some more jewels. . this is just the beginning of a new balance between what I must do and what I feel compelled to do. I still have a great career in Marketing & Branding for half of my productive time, but the other half of my time. . is about giving voice to my creative spirit.